Taylor Mae- Business Coach

Taylor Mae is a business strategist, coach, and leader of the local female networking group Level Detroit. Taylor has an infectious energy and positivity that radiates when you meet her. She's very big into connecting with others and on supporting fellow female entrepreneurs in any way possible. 

I got the chance to speak with her about overcoming the challenges of COVID-19, what big changes she has in store for this year, and finding clarity both in our business and personal lives.  

I always start out asking everyone about their childhoods. What was your childhood like and what were you like as a kid?

You would find me mostly in the garage or in the basement making up dances with the neighbor kids. So I was always dancing, always creating and kind of, I think in my own world a little bit because of that. 

I probably was a little bossy as well, but I think my parents would have to tell me ‘you have to talk to your friends about other things besides dance.’ And so , so that, I feel just in itself, says a lot about who I was and who I am is still. 

I know you mentioned that you have worked for some nonprofits. What are some of the kinds of nonprofits that you've worked with and how do you think that impacted you?

I love getting to work with nonprofits and I work with a lot even right now, a lot with children and a lot that has to do with education... One right now I work with called End Prejudice and they do really important work for racial justice… their view…  is about unification over everything. 

And then one that I've been working with probably the longest and where I do the most work with is called Kaleo. They’re a performing arts, education platform that works with students all over the country now. It's a really special program and they make original music, the kids write songs and they’re really also about unification…. they’re really intentional of bringing students from different experiences and different backgrounds, together in the same room to create pieces of art together. And it's super amazing. 

What inspired you to get into coaching?

I guess this connects back to my childhood. I always wanting to bring out the best in people. And also my mom is a clinical therapist and so I think just growing up in the home with an understanding of personal development and an understanding of psychology and all of that really kind of just fed into my psyche in general. 

And so I think I got into coaching to impact people and just because that was kind of, I felt what I was ready for… I was actually just joking with my mom that I feel like I've been training for this literally forever. And so I have some shifts coming up and I'm okay, I don't need to be scared. Because I've been reading different types of things and studying all these different types of topics forever. So it's fun.

What are some of the shifts you have coming up?

I have been primarily doing business coaching and consulting, but I’ve been doing some training to be able to shift more into doing life coaching or...I call myself a life strategist. 

So essentially helping people.. find and discover, or really more so remember, their divine purpose and then create a strategy to help them really live that out in a way that's practical and everyday, … we let the world define who we are… I think to question, okay, what is the point of this? Why am I really here? That's the type of stuff between personal development and spirituality and psychology, I've been really studying forever. 

I've been kind of shifting into being able to help people more with that rather than just the business stuff. And I think business conversations both come up naturally because I love business, but that's kind of where I'm headed and I feel super excited about it. 

That's awesome. I'm a very big believer in that. Because I think it's very archaic to think that  when you have your own business … or you have a career to think that the two aren't intermarried is a very odd concept to me. Because they do bleed into one another in many ways.

Yes, absolutely. It's your life's work, and I think we put our egos so much over that a lot of the time. And it's, like no, I want my work to be powerful. 

And I think that means, I think that could be anything that could be working at a restaurant or doing anything, but it's just our perception. And when it's in alignment with who we are and what we feel like we're meant to do, then I think you could make anything feel powerful. 

I think that the idea of alignment is really important. When I was younger, when I would be… deeply unhappy or frustrated and it's because I wasn’t doing what I really want to be doing .. But even if you're not focusing on your passions or you're letting other people dictate your life.

Yes. It's so true. I always think of that, so often ... coaching circles really just talk about behavior modification. Or as I say surface level, Oh, if I do this or I set this kind of goal and no, you're never going to feel fulfilled or feel in alignment until you get to the root and the foundation. And you're able to do that. 

So even if you're in a nine to five, that isn't ideal, but you're in it to pay the bills. At least you can shift your perception…

 I always say sometimes jobs are fundraising for life jobs. I have this job so I could pay my bills so that I can go do these other things or have the time to do these other things.

I think that's a good point too, about the fundraising for life. That's one of the things that kind of frustrates me about the coaching world or personal development when it's just these very Instagrammy influencers that are really shady about how they got their money and they just tell you to quit your job and buy their program and you'll be great.

It doesn't make you a failure because you have a normal nine to five and then you're doing your side hustle or you're focusing on your own thing. 

Everyone's place makes the world go round. I call it the Facebook ads or Instagram ads world of ‘do these five things’... That still points to the surface level things.

Even if it's, I was given a hundred million dollars today, but I'm still not aligned with my purpose and what I feel I was called to do, that's not going to change how I feel about my life. And so it really points back to that foundation of things.

I like what you said about not just doing behavior modification. I remember listening to a Tim Ferris podcast interview with Seth Godin and Tim Ferriss always asks everyone about their morning routine. 

And Seth Godin was like ‘it's not going to make a difference. It's not why I'm successful.’ He was a little bitchy to be honest, but I understood what he was saying. So I totally got what you're saying. It has to be something deep, meaningful change and you have to find what works for you.

Yes… it's funny to ask someone like Seth Godin that, or even just that question in general, it cheapens people, it's like you really think, ‘Oh success is because of my morning routine.’ No, it's because I'm intelligent. And I have…  a great perspective and I work really hard… all those different things.

What is your niche in coaching?

It feels hard for me to niche down because I'm an Enneagram Seven; I naturally want to get a lot out of a lot of things. So feeling as if I'm narrowing myself down feels really hard for me though. 

… I really think what it comes down to is women. I really like working with women specifically and specifically women in transition. And so whether that is a high school student that doesn’t know what to do with their life...

I remember that feeling and even then the transition out of college as well, and then as well as people that are in different places of their life that are kind of almost looking for a life rebrand, I feel they kind of get to the bottom of themselves and they're like, alright, what is this? 

I really get excited about working from the bottom up with people. Because I know sometimes a lot of coaches are, ‘Oh, I work with the already “successful people” and help their performance, all of that.’ That doesn't feel like my niche as much as really starting that foundation with people. 

I'm the same way when I have a therapist, I always have a female therapist just because that's who I feel most comfortable with.

No, exactly. And to that point, I feel I know women so well also because just thinking of my family… It's really my mom, my sister, and I, so this is really feminine, group energy. I was surrounded by mostly women my whole life. 

It totally makes sense. I feel the same way because I grew up around my mom and my stepmom who are so independent and they were kind of the head of household in my eyes, I just kind of got used to that energy. 

That's why I gravitate towards women who start their own businesses or who have really good careers or who have these big goals in their lives. 

Yes, exactly. I'm the same for sure. That's beautiful.

That kind of leads into my next question. That's part of the reason I really love [the networking group] Level Detroit, what inspired you to take a leadership role at Level Detroit?

I love building community and connecting people. And so… this space is available to be able to step into that. I really felt that would be a really exciting and important role to be able to do for people. So I would say that's my favorite part of it. 

The reason why I stepped into it for myself is to be able to just meet new people and build community. I feel that building real friendships in adulthood is really hard and no one tells you that… And so I think that was a part of it  too. I want to meet new people and connect with new people. 

I think too, it's different with our generation because we have these much larger gaps of time between graduating high school and settling down. And then I also feel a little…  I obviously love social media, but I do think it's totally brought us together. But then I also think it's separated us in a way.

Agreed. So it's, why do I need to go to someone's house and catch up? If it feels I already know what's going on in their life based on their Instagram story, I hate that. 

And I'm guilty of that obviously, but grateful for it in times of a pandemic. But how can we begin having that connection again? 

I heard a stat, funny enough; in Shakespeare's time the number of people you would know within your lifetime is 150 people. That's it. And now we have thousands and thousands of people that just follow us on Instagram. So  think about that and just how we've evolved as a species. 

Yeah. That is really interesting. I never would have thought of it. It does make sense. And I think that we have the chance to connect with so many different people that pre-internet we just really wouldn't have.

I think people find it easy to complain about the internet, but I have also had a lot of really awesome female friendships from social media.

Yes, totally. And I think you just pointed out the key, I think of just successful business in general and using social media successfully, it really is a relationship building tool. 

You can post the fanciest things or have the algorithm and all of that. But really the most successful businesses are the people that are using social media as a relationship tool and actually building real life relationships with people. 

That's something that I really about Detroit is I feel people really do go hard for local businesses and it's just, I don't want to say easier, but in a way it kind of is maybe because it's a little bit smaller, but there's still a ton of entrepreneurship and people are still very motivated, but I feel you don't get lost in the white noise as much as in an LA or New York or Chicago.

Exactly. Especially too, Detroit feels it's still an emerging creative city, right? You go to New York and LA to be around all the other creative people.

Some of the best art in the world has come from Detroit, but it's always been in pockets and the majority being really manufacturing work and that mindset. And when you're connecting with like minded people, it is still quite nice. And so I think that's an interesting and cool thing about Detroit as well.

What do you think are some of the hardest obstacles for female business owners to overcome?

It's a stereotype and a cliche, but I think just your self-worth more than anything. Breaking the conditioning of what I'm supposed to be, at least for me, this is a big one. Just being the good girl and doing what I'm told and following the right steps. That's gonna get me what I want. 

And that's not how it really works in entrepreneurship. It's about being bold and breaking rules and being innovative and building relationships. And I think that really stems from right again, that foundation of feeling you are worthy of that and being confident enough to be bold in that and step into that. 

I know what you're saying. And I struggle a little bit with this self worth or doubt, but also just, I am not a natural salesperson. I'm sure part of it is a whole female, blend into the background, ‘be nice’ thing, but it's also more introverted normally. So it just bothers me and I feel I'm bothering people.

Yeah, exactly. And it's, how does the actually shift to be, no, this conversation with someone actually has the potential to add value to that and benefit their lives and their closets and they're expressing themselves, you know? 

It is interesting to make that shift. .. It's a fight all the time because everything in the world points to us not to do that. 

One of the things I know you speak a lot about is clarity. And I've noticed that a lot, even with myself as a small business owner, you are pulled in so many different directions and then you start getting distracted. What do you think clarity means to you in terms of creating and running a small business?

Continuing to stay connected to the big vision of things is huge because we can easily chase the squirrels or the shiny objects.

I always say it's a dance of connecting to the big vision. What am I working for? You know, whether it's five years, 10 years, at the end of my life, what do I want this to be? And then how do I bring that and break that into small pieces and in my day-to-day.

So whether you have a vision statement for your life, or you have different goals that you look at every single morning. It helps with the clarity of what you can say yes and no to in your daily life. Does that decision move me closer to that big vision I feel called to do? Or does it not? And it kind of makes it easier with that in mind.

Yeah. That makes sense. And I feel , , that's one of the things I've seen a lot with entrepreneurs and male, female, any business they've always, always says, I have long term goals and I have shorter term goals than I have. the daily stuff I need to get done.

I just wrote out longer term goals the other day and I'm trying to look at them regularly to remind myself.

Yes. Because it's so easy to get bogged down. ‘Oh my gosh, I have to do all these admin tasks, Oh my gosh, I have to get on this other phone call.’ 

I think gratitude and contentment and the journey is so important.

Entrepreneur life is just a rollercoaster. You could feel all of those emotions of the same day or same hour. 

I love listening to podcasts and other successful entrepreneurs. The ones that have made it still have those moments and did have those moments along the way. So I use kind of the mantra of I am in good company now. 

I know you were also talking about letting go of things, but I liked how you specifically said  it's not about giving up when things get tough. But it's about knowing when something's not serving you. How do you think that idea of letting go has shaped you?

I'm deeply in the midst of learning that right now.I could say how it's shaping me. I think the reason that I sometimes have said yes to things that aren't for me… came from fear. Fear that I'm leaving money on the table and that another opportunity won't come this or I need this cash right now or whatever it is. And that really is a place functioning from low self worth. 

And so letting go of those types of things. So that I could actually make the space for other things to come through are really game changing. It's shaping me to be someone who trusts more that I am taken care of and good things will come my way. 

And it's just kind of letting go that’s giving me more internal freedom and more joy. So it's a process of… I recommend everybody kind of listing out, okay, where is my time being spent? Where's my emotional energy being spent and what can I quit? What can I cut? So I can make room for the other beautiful things to enter my life that I want.

 I am very into the whole streamlining process and also just being more comfortable with saying no as I get older and not having to give a long story explanation or an excuse. So there's going to be a little bit of a pivot, but what do you think are some of the biggest marketing mistakes that small businesses make?

Back to the point that you were saying earlier, I was sharing about building relationships. … I would say that is probably the number one mistake there. 

They just think, Oh, if I get my social media just perfect or if I just do AB and C and it's like, no, cultivating those relationships, especially for a small business, is everything. And so I would say people getting distracted by that, that’s the biggest mistake for sure. 

Obviously this whole COVID pandemic is seemingly never-ending. How do you think business owners can pivot during COVID and what are some successful changes you've seen?

I feel the most success I've seen are the people that have been responsive versus reactive. Even though there was urgency obviously to changes. That's kind of what I'm thinking of in particular, in my mind right now are the ones that kind of noticeably took a setback and took a deep breath and then we're actually able to be super innovative and super creative in the way that they serve their people rather than being in panic. 

I feel still it being an interesting time to be running a business for a lot of people, continuing to take that step back, think of, okay, what is maybe something other people aren't doing and rewriting the rules, the people that are courageous enough to do that are going to be the ones that come up on top essentially. 

What's the best  advice you've ever received and from whom?

I will take it back to my mom who I'm so close to...She has always said “If you can lay your head down at the end of the night and know that you gave the best you could with what you had, you can call that a success.” 

And I think of that every night and I think ‘did I show up in my best way?’ Not perfect, but with the energy I had with the creativity I had, with the opportunities I have, did I live that out as fully as I could? 

What are your goals for 2020 or even into next year? I know this is such a bizarre time.

I'm in a lot of different trainings right now. I'm getting certified as a transformational coach through Western Seminary. I am getting certified as a Human Design reader and I am going through other really amazing coaching programs. So to really get education stuff down is a huge part of the rest of 2020, as well as reconnecting with potential clients in a new way.

So a lot of comp sessions to be able to get my hours for these certifications and a lot of just getting the ball rolling. So when 2021 hits that… I have people and they know about it and they're telling their people about it and really building it through relationships. 

What are some resources that you'd recommend?

Oh, there's so many. I think my favorite podcasts are Second Life by Hillary Kerr from WhoWhatWear. It’s just so inspiring to hear other people's stories about building their businesses.

I love Seth Godin as well. I'm reading ‘This is Marketing’ by Seth Godin... He always says marketing is about change and changing people's hearts and minds. I love anything Seth Godin and I also love my girl Marie Forleo forever. 

Marisa Kimmel- Photographer, Model & Alopecia Activist

Marisa Kimmel is a Detroit based photographer, model, and alopecia activist. She does all of this while also navigating being a new mom.

She got super vulnerable with me in our latest interview about having alopecia, how that’s changed her and how she now works to help kids who have alopecia. 

I’m so grateful for her openness. We spoke about healing from childhood traumas, her journey through motherhood, and how her photography and modeling work goes hand in hand with Alopecia awareness.

Read on for some great advice on healing and moving through pain, as well as some awesome resources.

I always start out with asking people about their childhoods. What were you like as a kid? What was your childhood like?

I had a very traumatic childhood growing up. I don't talk about it often because it was things that I had no control over, as a kid. And it's other people's decisions and their lives that affected my entire life. I wouldn't change even the traumatic parts that had nothing to do with me… because it made me who I am today. 

My dad moved from Florida to Michigan… He was involved with drugs and alcohol from a young age, that was just his childhood. …..I had that as a childhood, my dad would fall off.

 Was that a constant theme or part of your childhood?

My earliest memory is I think I have one from when I was four and then the entire gap from when I was nine, when the first traumatic thing really happened from that entire stage in my life. 

Do you think you blocked it out? 

Probably, I think I remember certain things. I played sports and I danced, but I only remember those things because of pictures or my mom would tell me. 

My dad was back and forth with drugs and sometimes he wouldn't come home...

It was just me and my mom and my sister, she's four years younger than me. And then it was all of us and my dad stayed clean for a little bit. And then when I was nine he must have been involved with drugs for a little bit..That was the last time my dad fell off. He went to rehab and my dad's been clean since then.

Do you have a good relationship with your parents now?

Yeah. We're still working through that kinda stuff. Especially the older I get where I'm at now, I see it as differently now that I'm a parent. 

My dad's the best parent that I know, but he has this sickness…

When that happened with my dad and when I was nine, that was the first year that I had a bald spot; my alopecia. That was the year that I was diagnosed with hair loss. When I first started getting little bald spots or on my head, we went to the doctor. I was diagnosed right away. 

As a kid, I never thought that I would go bald and I didn't feel ugly or anything like that. But the medicine that the doctor gave me, I thought that I would take it or the shots I would get steroid shots. And I thought that I would be cured, that it was a quick fix.

But that wasn't that wasn't the reality. And my parents didn't know either because they'd never heard of this before. They were learning as, as we all were.

… And then I'm thinking okay, well then I'll look like everyone else. Like, that's what I'll do and it'll be fine. it was always just little bald spots that would come and go, one would start to grow in and then I'd get one on the other side of my head and I just put the medicine on that side. that was that for a couple years. 

And then now it's in middle school. That's kind of where I wanted to look pretty, I wanted to fit in. 

In middle school that's when I started to feel like I wouldn't be able to control the way that I looked as much as I wanted to. Especially at that age, you're wanting to change so much about yourself that you look like all your friends or a boy will talk to you. But with my hair, it just had a mind of its own. It was just going to do whatever it wanted, whenever it wanted. 

I think it was on Instagram where you were writing about how you would try to hide it constantly and wear headbands and you didn't want to do certain things like swimming. How do you think that affected you? 

I think towards the end of middle school is when…  because the worse that my hair got, the more I started to try to control it. The more that everyone was talking about their looks and social media was starting to come out then…. 

I had trauma that happened in middle school with a family member and he went away to prison; since I was little until after I turned 18. 

I felt I had to hide at that age too -  most of my friends had parents that were happily married and they had the cutest little, perfect families. And I felt different that I had these traumas, you know what I mean? I wanted to fit in so bad. I didn’t want to talk about any of it.

Yeah, behind closed doors, me and my family kind of dealt with those traumas and then I would go to school and, and put on a happy face… 

I was a kid, I didn’t know how to deal or how I was supposed to move on… There was never really a time that I was sitting at home. I was always super busy.

 I started high school and that's kind of where my alopecia just took over everything else that happened in my childhood with my cousin and my relationship with my dad.

And my alopecia kind of controlled how long it took me to get ready in the morning. If I missed my first class, then I would send my brother and sister.. And sometimes I just wouldn't go or your life or I would make sure to go before my mom would get home at one. But I would get up literally two and a half hours before I'd have to.

Did your close friends know about it?

Yeah. I went to a very small private Catholic school my whole life. And a lot of them knew that I had alopecia or I would get bald spots and they'd grow in. I was never bullied for it. And if anything, when I would play sports, I would feel hands go to fix that they would cover my bald spots for me, everyone knew.

Do you feel it was maybe more internal than other people?

I was the hardest on myself..

Sometimes it's harder when you're your own worst critic. I think it's harder to overcome that because you can cut negative people out of your life.

Like I couldn't get away from the negative thoughts surrounding who I was.

I know that now you seem very comfortable in your own skin, but clearly that was not an overnight journey. When do you think that finally started to change?

I met my husband when we were 19 and we were best friends for a year, before we even started dating. I think I had maybe less than half of my hair left on my head.. And I had the same hairstyles that I would wear every day until my bald spot would move and then we'd have to change it. 

I would just tell him, ‘I just want to cut it all off.’ And Drew was actually in barber school,  when we first met. I didn't even have to explain to him anything about why my hair falls out. When I started talking about cutting it all off it was like, “Ok, well, tell me when. And I'll bring my clippers.”

 And I think it was shortly after that and we were at his mom's house and I went into the bathroom, put my hair in a ponytail and I cut it off. And then Drew shaved my head.

That's crazy that you guys were able to do that together. It's really incredible.

I remember just looking at myself, like let me just do this. And I cut it off and it was the most when you sigh of relief, that weight was just lifted. 

I cut it all off when I was 19 and around my family and Drew and his family, I would just have my bald head. But when we would go out I would always just wear a stocking cap or whatever. 

And then the following year my cousin got out of prison. That was something from my childhood that was weird. Like, wait a second… he got out of prison and it was a lot of everyone trying to protect me. Which I get trying to protect me, but I was no longer a kid. 

I was 19. I found the excuse of, okay, well I'm going to move. I was going to move to Chicago and I got accepted into this art school and I'm going to do fashion marketing.

I didn’t know anything about fashion. I played sports growing up, I wore sweatpants and a cutoff every day. I don't know how to dress. Like, I don't know anything, but this is what I'm going to do. 

I was telling Drew that and he had graduated barber school and he said he’d move with me. 

We both moved that next summer. when we were 20, we moved to Chicago, we didn't know anyone. First time, living together, being adults and this big city, and then here I am kind of running from my childhood traumas and my alopecia. I come from a small city where if you look different, it's not okay.

A lot of people were saying, well, you can wear wigs, you can wear a hat. Moving to Chicago, it was the thing that I needed to become whoever I wanted to be, it was without the weight of those expectations.

I started googling about alopecia. All I saw were just the medical photos of people with alopecia.They're not beautiful photos. I felt really sorry for those people, what a miserable life. Like if all my hair falls out, I'm going to have a miserable life. 

I just  thought that once my hair fell out, that that was the end of my life. That I was going to be alone. I wouldn't get married, wouldn't have kids, wouldn't get hired, all this stuff. That's kinda how I lived, my teenage years planning for my life to be over.

When we moved to Chicago I knew that that was my new start. I could just be whoever I wanted to be without anyone questioning me. 

I always say that everyone in their early twenties should get out of their hometown. No matter how amazing your childhood was, you can't be a fully formed person. Whether you go to school or you go away to the military, whatever your thing is, you need to get out because you're never going to change  and grow as a person.

You need to see the bigger picture of life then your hometown, what you grew up around. Yeah, we moved to Chicago and I was a year into being , without any hair, but I was still self conscious. Like I think I wore my mother-in-law bought me a wig. I would wear that sometimes underneath my hat or I would wear my hat and I had a headscarf. 

I tried the wig thing. But when we moved to Chicago I started a job working at Urban Outfitters Surplus. It's the sales store of Urban. There's only one and everyone that worked there, we all called each other ‘the misfits of urban.’ 

I was wearing a hat when I started. After a couple of weeks, one of my new friends asked me why I always wore a hat. So we went into the fitting room and I showed him. He's like ‘Who cares? No one cares here.’ And he told me ‘next time don't wear it, it'll be fine.’ And that was it. I just stopped wearing the hat.

Awesome. Finding that group where you finally find you grow and be yourself is so important.

Those were my new friends and my new life and everyone was accepting in Chicago. Everyone's just different from my hometown where it was very small, me, my sister and my cousin were the only Mexicans in the high school, everyone else was white.

I think big cities give you that way to be kind of anonymous in a way, you know? Like there's just so many people, no one's sitting there talking about you.

Drew and I lived there five and a half years. And every time I would come back home though, I would get nerves and anxiety because I was going back to the city where I didn’t talk to anyone that I went to high school with. 

I just wasn't who I was in high school anymore. Even after just living there for a year, the longer I lived there, the more I was growing, into who I am.

Right. Which quite frankly, I think is a good thing. Like when people say that whole, ‘Oh, you've changed.’ That's the point, you're supposed to grow and evolve. I don't think you should be the same person that you were in high school.

Yeah. every time I'd go back home, I would, if I was to see someone, I would hide. I was nervous and it wasn't anything against them. I wasn’t ready and it was before Instagram was ‘let me tell you my whole life.’ Because that's kind of how I am now. 

Do you find that , as you've gotten older, because that's something I've found is that that's my favorite part of getting older, is not caring as much. I used to be so concerned in my early twenties about what other people would think of me. 

Yeah.  I mean it happens to me everyday. Like when I leave my house and I go out the way that I look without any hat, I don't hide my alopecia. I get comments pretty much every time I leave my house...people compliment me, but sometimes I feel that they think that I need it to make me feel better.

Most of the time I'm able to tell them ‘Oh, I have alopecia. It's just, my hair just doesn't grow, but I'm healthy.’ 

I had the choice if I wanted to wear a wig, if I wanted to cover it, I choose not to. And because I decide to walk I think the way that I look that makes people feel I'm allowing them to share this huge part of my life…. 

I know there's been a big movement with people that are disabled saying ‘don't treat me like I'm fragile and like my life is terrible.’ If you constantly look at people that are different from you as ‘they can't live a good life.’ No one wants to be pitied. It's not a good feeling. And it's very heavy.

I walk around because I feel most comfortable. This is how I feel “me”. My sister has alopecia and she feels most herself with hair... She wears the wig and that's how she lives her life. But just because we had the same disease doesn't mean that we have to live the same type of life. 

One thing I wanted to touch on because I'm super interested in this as I saw your work with the CAP (the Children's Alopecia Project.) Can you tell me more about that?

Growing up, I didn't have any support systems. It was me and my parents trying to figure it out as we went. With CAP, the founder’s daughter has had alopecia, from a very young age. 

He couldn't find anything for his daughter so he started a group for kids. It started out in their hometown; small groups would get together and the parents could talk about it with each other. Because it's also the parents that need support too. 

It's for the parents and for the kids, for the kids to see other kids like them. They started very small and now it's this huge thing, all throughout the US he goes to schools and talks, if a kid has alopecia, and they're not ready to speak up for themselves Jeff will come in and give a talk to the whole school, letting them know that it's okay to be different, not just about alopecia, but…  it's OK to wear glasses, to have a hearing aid, to have different color hair, different color skin, it's okay to be different. He does that and then there are the camps. 

I went to my first camp... four years ago… I was living in Chicago and I reached out and said ‘Hey, I'm not a kid, but could I come? I've never been around that many other people with alopecia, even if they are kids.’

He told me they were actually looking for a speaker. I was still very new to coming into my alopecia, not allowing it to affect my entire life. But I went to that and .... I did talks and I met the parents. Being able to have them see someone that comes out of it; that everything's fine. 

It's not easy, but it's not the end of the world. Life is still beautiful, even if you don't have any hair. 

Those pictures are really beautiful. 

When I would look up those photos of bald people and they were those miserable photos, not anymore, let me try to help them change the narrative. 

Whenever I was first taking photos, learning how to use my camera, I took self portraits of myself. setting up my tripod and newly, no hair, no eyebrows, because my eyebrows fell out when I was 21 or 22. 

Taking photos of myself, getting comfortable with being in front of the camera, seeing myself that up close and being able to post those online, show people, you can still be happy and, and look different.

Right. And I think our biggest growth comes from those places of discomfort and pushing against that fear.

I was very vulnerable... to post those photos where I'm still getting comfortable with looking at myself in the mirror, but let me put it out there.

And not knowing the reaction you're going to get. 

Yeah. But now having people take my picture or taking my own pictures, this is just the way that I look and I've never felt more comfortable in my entire life. I couldn't see myself with hair. Like my alopecia, if it decides to stop and I grow hair, I'm going to be upset.

This year is different because we weren't able to go to the camps, but still had a zoom session and I gave a speech and updated people on where I'm at, in my self-love journey and my personal and professional life. I still got married, I still had a baby. I still get hired to do things. And I have a very incredible full life, you know? 

Because I , as a teenager, I was growing up, preparing myself for this awful life and I’m living the complete opposite. 

I know motherhood is such a big part of any woman's life, what has that meant to you and how do you feel that motherhood has changed you?

I think because before I had Abraham, I was putting in the work to heal from my past traumas that weren't my fault. The things that I couldn't control, my alopecia, that there's no cure for. 

When we decided to have a baby, I was putting in all the work so that when Abraham came into our lives, I was able to be open. And show him that it's a forever thing. I don't think you can ever stop healing yourself.

 I agree. It's really inspiring to me that you're open about the whole motherhood thing. One of the things I really do like about our generation is that openness, as hard as it is to go through those things. It's better for you, your son, your family because that whole culture of past generations of secrecy and hiding things is toxic and awful.

Yeah, because when I was a child going through those things, it was behind closed doors. I think because my parents didn't know any different. Because that's how they grew up, but I'm still talking to my parents about their childhood, right? Because there's gonna be things that Abraham goes through or we go through as parents that we're going to have no control over. 

With Abraham,  they're able to do things that they didn't do with their own kids. I think to relate to them or see things differently with a more open mind, like for example that Abraham hasn't had his first haircut yet.

I have to remind my parents and my husband's mom that you don't get to tell Abraham who he is. When he's able to tell me that he wants a haircut or he wants to wear certain clothes, he wants to do this certain thing, I don't want anyone to tell him no.

Right. You don't want the outside world to be dictating that, especially from such a young age.

I went through that… like no girls are bald.

The other thing I know that you speak about a lot on Instagram is your breastfeeding journey. Why was that important to you to be open about?

In the beginning, when I was pregnant, I planned on breastfeeding. I didn't have a set date... I just knew that I was one of those people where breastfeeding is free, but I didn't realize that my time; emotional, physical, mental, all of that, it’s not free.  

It came as natural as it could at first, but you know it hurt and it took a lot of time trying to figure out pumping. I didn’t know anything- I didn't even know how to hold onto a newborn when Abraham was born. 

Learning everything, how to take care of a brand new baby by myself, my body's broken. My husband and I, we only saved enough money for him to be off of work for a week and a half. And after a week and a half, he went back to work full time and there I am trying to figure out why my boobs are leaking all over the place, why they're hurting. 

Then there's this newborn baby who needs to be taken care of. On social media, I would ask for help when I needed it or advice when I wanted it. There were these moms who had gone through it. A lot of them were saying ‘you do what you need to and if breastfeeding is not for you, then there's other ways to feed your baby.’ 

Knowing that if it was becoming too much for me to handle that I had options. The guilt was still there,  to give him all the antibodies, all that nutrients that he gets naturally from my body. Every mark, the three months to six months and every time I would hit it, I'd think, do I want to keep going?

Sometimes a really hard week would be happening and I’d think I'm going to be done after this week. And then it would go back to being easier to feed him. Then I started pumping at three months and that gave me more time to have my body back to me, because I wasn't feeding a baby every three hours... 

When he was six months old and it was right before I turned 26 and off my parents' health insurance. My OB suggested a genetic test for the BRCA gene. 

She suggested I get this testing done because breast cancer runs strong on both sides of my family. The BRCA mutation, it brings your breast cancer percentage up to 80%. When you test positive for that, your breast cancer percentage goes up and so does your ovarian. 

When I went in she told me that there were preventative measures or that I could come in every six months for the breast cancer screening and the ultrasound for ovarian cancer. .. You can keep breastfeeding, that's a preventative measure for breast cancer or you could have the mastectomy and the hysterectomy.

I've been through all of the stuff that I've been through. This was the easiest decision I could have made. I'm like well you can take them. There are things that I don't need to live, like my hair. 

I'll have the mastectomy, after Abraham's done breastfeeding, but because breastfeeding is a preventative measure that just pushed me to go through not wanting to stop breastfeeding because emotionally I don't want to do it anymore. But my option is if I stop, then I have to have that surgery. 

It's such a weird time right now... I know they keep opening and then closing hospitals and going back and forth about having elective surgeries. 

It's the healing, weeks of healing. I won't be able to take care of myself for the first couple of weeks, getting out of bed, lifting my arms. My husband and I both having to take off work is a big decision. 

This whole COVID thing has really shown how undervalued mothers are. I lived abroad for years and it just always was wild to me. How different Europeans always viewed motherhood and the state supporting that journey there.  And then talking to people back in the States about things like maternity leave and I was shocked. 

I worked until I was 41 weeks pregnant… clocking in those hours so that when I had a newborn, I could spend that much more time with him. Because that's what I wanted. I had to work those 41 weeks all the way up. 

I feel I didn’t have a choice. Like if I was to quit my job, then I wouldn’t have gotten maternity leave anymore. How am I supposed to take three months off of work? And pay my bills and take care of a newborn when I'm not getting paid... I had to make those decisions and I mean, it was fine.

Society isn't set up to start new parents off on the right foot… Abraham was planned. Like if we didn't have him before I was 26, then I don't know if we would have had a child, because I was on my parents' insurance and it's expensive to have a baby. Like I didn't want to go into debt to have a kid.

What advice would you give to your younger self? 

Knowing that when the hard times happen that that doesn't have to be your whole life.

Yeah. That, that period it will shape you, but it doesn't mean to define you.

That even the outside experiences that have an effect on you, that doesn't mean that you have to live with that on your shoulders your whole life. 

I have all this stuff... and here I am having to take care of someone. That's what I thought love was, that was my first experience of having to unlearn what love was with my husband because Drew and I started dating when we were 19. 

The first couple of years of us dating was a whole bunch of unlearning for me. Like realizing it's not my job to take care of anyone else. Letting me take the time for myself. And Drew was the best person to remind me that it's not my job. His happiness is his and mine is mine and we bring it together.

When I was 19, I remember my half sister telling me one day ‘you either have to accept the baggage meone comes with or you don't, you can't change them.’

And that still sticks with me. Whether it's a relationship or friendship  we're all going to bring our past trauma and baggage and that's what makes us who we are. But there are certain things that you either can accept about that person or you just have to let them go and move on. That's some of my favorite advice. What is the best advice you've ever been given? 

Drew telling me that only I can control the way that those kinds of things affect me. I think that's probably the biggest thing that I can take in my entire life, people's decisions that they make, even if they affect me, how I decide to deal with those things and heal from those things.

Or if I want to forget that it completely even happened that doesn't fix it. Doesn't make them go away. What kind of life that I want, and I think I just take that kind of every aspect of my life, professional and personal, my relationships with my son too. There's only much that I can control and that I can give and everything else is up to someone else.

I think that's great advice. If you can't change the situation, then you need to change the way you think about it. Do you have any books, podcasts, resources that you would recommend for people?

I am one of those people that when I'm driving in the car, I listen to podcasts and cry.. There's a couple, there's The Good Life Project. They just interview these people that have had hard upbringings or anything like that and now they're doing amazing things. Not only in their own life, but also to help others in their community. Terrible Thanks for Asking is another good podcast.

Where you can find her: 

Instagram: @marisakimmel @marisakimmelphotos 

Website: Marisa Kimmel Photo

Stephanie Stewart- PA & Cosmetic Injector

In our latest interview with cosmetic injector Stephanie Stewart we spoke about her life changing car accident as a teenager and how that inspired her not only to start her career in medicine, but also to live each day with gratitude. After working for five years in trauma in the ER Stephanie became burnt out and knew she needed a change. We discussed burn out and how to set boundaries that work for you.

Stephanie is now one of the leaders of the female networking group Level Detroit. She talks about how she started her own business with no experience and how important it is to find your niche and develop a CEO mentality. 

Read on for more great business (and esthetic!) tips from Stephanie. 

I always start out asking about some of everyone's childhood. What were like you as a kid and where did you grow up?

My childhood was great for the most part. We lived in a subdivision in new Baltimore and so I was always friends with all the kids there. And we just played outside literally from the time we got up to the time we went to bed. We traveled a lot as kids. I was very lucky. My parents were both blue collar. They worked super, super hard to give us the best life possible. 

That sounds pretty similar to mine. My parents didn't have a ton of money, but we always traveled in an RV and we thought it was cool. We had the best time.

It makes you so much more grateful for that because, as adults, you realize your parents are other people, they're not just mom and dad. When you realize how hard they work to give you that best life, it puts it into perspective.

How did you decide to go into medicine?

When I was 15, I was on my way to school in the back of my best friend's older brother's car. I was in the back middle and we turned left out of our subdivision. There was a blind spot and we actually hit head on with another car. I wasn't wearing my seatbelt and I always wear my seatbelt, but I just didn't that day. And I went through the windshield. I lost six teeth. I broke my jaw, I broke my nose. Car accidents are really slow motion when you're in them. And so I remember flying up, looking over, and then flying back.

My first instinct was to get out of the car before it exploded. I couldn't get out because all the doors were jammed. And I got out of the car and everybody was running towards us, get out of the car, get out of the car. They grabbed me and I was just sitting there and I was feeling my face. I was feeling my face and I was thinking ‘Hmm, this doesn't feel right.’ I went to the hospital, I had surgery, my jaw was wired shut. And then this started this super long healing process for me.

When I was in the hospital I remember being in the cat scan room and I remember how nice the CT techs were to me. And because I was a scared 15 year old, I remember they were being so nice. And I just remember thinking that I wanted to make people feel that.

Then I went into college pre med quickly realizing that I didn't want to be a doctor. So I went to PA school instead and went into trauma. I thought I wanted to do trauma surgery, but I actually ended up hating the OR. I did trauma and ER, for about five years before I decided to transition to aesthetics, which is what I do now because I was just so burnt out.

So people always hear the car accident story and they think, you know, ‘Oh my God, I can't believe you went through that.’ And honestly it was the best thing that ever happened to me because it shaped my life. And without that, I don't feel I would have appreciated all the things I do now and would have gone into that field and got where I am today. 

It got tough because I was a 15 year old girl with a messed up face. But I had a great plastic surgeon and, you know, since then I've had probably 20 surgeries, but it's fine, I'm grateful for that experience and I'm glad that I'm okay because it could have been much worse. 

Do you think the image of plastic surgery is slowly changing;  that people are realizing that it's more than just this very superficial field?

Yeah, I do think it is. I also think that there's more people in my field that are offering natural appearing modifications that are reducing the stigma of it. I think if we keep chasing trends, big butts, big boobs, big lips, we're never going to be happy with ourselves. So I feel the more people that can offer natural modifications the better. 

I think the more we put out there that this is okay to do and make this more mainstream. I think more people are going to go into this field. And I think we're going to keep reducing those stigmas.

Yesterday I was just browsing through Instagram and there was a local influencer who was talking about the work she’s had done and I feel we're seeing more of that openness now. 

That's a great point - be honest that you do this. So when our young females get older, they know that they have these options, but they don't have to meet a certain quota of what they get done. You know, just do whatever makes them happy and get rid of trends, stop doing things because you know, the Kardashians have a big butt or because Kylie Jenner has big lips, do whatever's gonna make you happy. So hopefully we can change the world in that aspect and people can continue to go that route.

There's something that I've noticed with your work is that it's very conservative and a very light touch and what works good for someone's actual face. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who do cosmetic procedures and it's just about the money and convincing you that you should do more because obviously they can charge more;  it's very slimy to me.

It's so horrible. I even feel bad posting right after I post before and after’s and right after the procedures, they look so big and it's only a half syringe of filler, you know, but they're just swollen. I try to keep it very natural.

Sometimes I have that feeling that with all of the photoshop and filtering happening now it can be a little unrealistic. Do you feel you have the same issue sometimes with people expecting unrealistic results?

 Yes and no, not as much as I thought I would, to be honest with you. And I think the reason being is that my Instagram and how I market myself and my brand is it sets people up to know that I'm going to be on the more conservative side and what works for them. 

So, you know, of course I always get those people. I think just setting proper expectations in the beginning you know.

Just explaining it to them and setting the right expectations totally changes the game. And I have to be honest, I don't have many people that come to me that say that; that they want unrealistic results. I think it's all because of what I've conveyed over social media.  I love that people come to me because they just want to feel better about themselves. Not because they want to look unrealistic. 

I think you touched on something really important in any business; find your niche. 

If you're yourself and you convey the brand that really is true to you, you're going to make money. It might not be right away. When I first started my business, I had one client a week coming to me. Now I'm booked for six weeks out and that's working four days a week injecting for eight hours. 

That didn't happen overnight though. I just paid myself for the first time, which was amazing, but it took a while to get there. I think you have to build it and then the money will come.

How do you recommend that someone goes about choosing a provider?

I honestly think word of mouth is the best way to find what you're looking for, but also look at the injector themselves. Do they look someone that you would want to look? And what I mean by that is I don't have huge cheeks. If you want huge cheeks, you probably shouldn't come to me.

If you want to look natural, you should go to an injector that also looks natural. And just research their work. 

Also, it would not offend me by any means that people question, Hey, where'd you get your training? How'd you get your training? How many procedures have you done? I actually take that as a compliment. There's no harm in asking for referrals from your friends, looking at the injector, and then asking the injector questions.

What are some of the newest procedures or techniques that you're excited about?

So there's something called Russian lips. So what it is is that, so a lot of people have smaller lips this way. So if you just fill, fill, fill on naturally you're to get those duck shaped lips and the filler is going to migrate up. So the idea of Russian lips is to show more tissue and kind of expanded out without making them ducky. 

A lot of people don't know this, but in the US the FDA is very, very, very selective on what fillers we can have on the market that are safe and FDA approved. So we have about 10 on the market from multiple different companies. Europe and Canada have hundreds of different fillers. I think down the line, we’ll get new fillers every year that Canada and Europe have had for several years. So I think that would be great to get those FDA approved and start using them in the US as well.

What do you think is the key to good skin? 

A couple of things; find an esthetician. There are so many different products on the market, but you have to know what you're treating. So I think having a consultation with an esthetician or a dermatologist and saying, these are my concerns, what do you recommend? And then you can buy stuff, but just to go in, because you heard X, Y, and Z, and buy all of these skincare products is really wasteful of money and time. 

The other thing is the sun is the devil. You should be wearing sunscreen 100% of the time, even in the winter.

Because the sun is so damaging. I can't tell you how many clients that come in and I'm ‘wow, your skin looks great. What’s your secret?’ And they tell me that they’ve put sunscreen on their whole life.

There's no harm in starting with injectables early on because it's preventative. I always use this analogy, but if you're doing bicep curls and you're building your bicep muscle, and then you stop doing those bicep curls, what's going to happen to your muscle? It's going to weaken and atrophying gets smaller. If you start Botox early on and you weaken those muscles, they're going to weaken over time and there’s not going to be a strong pulling on your skin to make those deep lines. So if you start early, it's a lot easier to correct as you age versus starting really late. 

Just to pivot a little bit, so I know you mentioned that part of the reason you moved into aesthetic medicine and out of trauma in the ER was because of the burnout. Can you tell me a little bit about that?

I think that Grey's anatomy ruined it for me a little bit. I think that’s what I thought medicine was going to be and what it was in PA school is very different from reality. I think that we are in a society where people need answers, they need correct answers, and they need them right now. And unfortunately that’s not how medicine works. 

There are so many things that we don't know about our human bodies about medicine. And so I think when you work in the emergency department or really any field of medicine, these patients are coming in, they want to know exactly what's wrong with them and that's not our job, the emergency department. We need to make sure that you're safe, that you're not having anything that's going to kill you and then have a plan in place for follow up.

And unfortunately our healthcare system has become where everybody goes to the ER and it's really, really tiring for ER providers because that's just not what we're there for. And so that burnout happens quickly  and you want to help so many people because they don't have the means to follow up. They don't have a car. The only way they're going to get help is if they call 911 and come see you. 

It's so frustrating, it's so sad that we can't help them, we can only make sure they're not going to die that day. And we can sometimes come up with social work and a follow up plan for them. 

The healthcare system itself is broken in America and I think that has weighed greatly on burnout in emergency departments. The other thing is that it's no longer medicine, it's customer service. So when people come in and they don't get what they want in the ER it's your fault. And if you don't give them what you want your boss is going to hear about it. So I just think we need to be better about educating our youth about this is when you need a doctor, this is what you go to urgent care for, and here's what you can do to get help.

And in these other aspects, cause the ER is not going to fix your life. There's a lot of things we could keep going into that, but I think the biggest thing is just that you burn out quickly when you see all the problems and you can't fix them. 

 I remembered hearing that the US healthcare system is not healthcare - it's sick care because other developed countries focus on preventative measures and in the US unless you're wealthy that just doesn’t happen.

I think the two biggest things that we could change to fix this is one educating everybody as they're young, how to not get illnesses like type two diabetes and how to properly care for themselves. 

Also, we really need to be paying primary care doctors more and psychiatrists more. We need to pay those people more because as you said, it's more preventative. And I think that would help the system because more people would want to go into those fields versus not.

You're not saying that an orthopedic surgeon isn't important, but you know, the guy who's helping someone after a gunshot wound is pretty essential to society.

Don't get me wrong doctors and everybody in the medical field, they've worked really hard to get there and they deserve to be paid. I just think shifting the pay so that inner cities and primary care givers can get paid more. 

When did you first become interested in doing cosmetic procedures?

I was always really good with my hands. I should have gone into the OR and been a surgeon, but I hate the OR.

Once I started to get burnt out, I still had a ton of student loans; I want to use my PA degree. And what can I do that's with my hands? 

I started taking classes and then practicing on my family and friends. And then realized that I was kinda good at this and that people would pay me to do this. And then it's kinda how my business started and I just Google how to start an LLC. And then it kind of just snowballed from there, but it really was two things that I just conveniently had. Since I was little, I was good with my hands and I was creative. And so it was kind of an outlet for both.

Where did you take classes? That’s an area I don't know anything about.

There are so many places to take classes. The drug companies offer classes. I actually teach for a class now called American Academy of Facial Aesthetics. 

Only doctors, nurses, and physician assistants can inject in the state of Michigan. If someone is interested in going into this field the biggest thing would be calling their state’s legislation department and asking what they need to get certified for these courses. I'll be honest with you-  Google was my best friend for the first two years of my business.

More people need to get comfortable with that. Sometimes you need to reach out and ask people for advice, but sometimes you need to avoid asking obvious questions.

I have so many people that messaged me about hi, I'm an ICU nurse and I want to get into esthetics. We went to school together and I want to get an esthetics- it's so blunt and it's such a turnoff to me when people don't invest in asking you that.

You worked so hard to get your business to where it is and these people just want an answer like that.

This took me two years to figure out. My advice to people who want to go into this field or really any field is to take the time and show someone you're invested in it. I had one girl that reached out to me and said, Hey, are you in the office on this day? I would love to bring you coffee and pick your brain about some things. And of course, I was happy to help. It was so refreshing to know that she had invested her time coming and showing that she was interested because people want instant gratification. And I'm sure it happens a lot in every field. 

I don't think people understand that what we have now has taken us years to make. And so it doesn't seem fair to just pass all that information on to them. That was good advice that someone gave me- don't give up everything that you've worked hard for. Only give it to the people that want to invest in you. Just to approach it kindly.

They can't expect you to sit in your free time after a long day at work and write a novel about how you started your business and what you did, people just don't have time for it.. It's very demanding without really giving anything in return.. I’ve noticed that on your social media you're vocal about having boundaries in your time off. I really respect that about you because a lot of people feel really sucked into that 24/7 life. But I just don't think that's sustainable.

I will tell you that it hasn't always been that. And it kind of happened as a breaking point. I couldn't, I couldn't give more of myself and I was so tired and just mean.

I actually hired a business coach this year and I think everybody should hire a business coach once they can afford one. She has changed my business completely for the better. There was something that she said to me that has stuck. And she said, do you want to start paying a CEO to run your company?

And I said well, no. And she told me ‘then you have to start acting like one’. 

if your glass isn't full, you can't offer it to anybody else. So I wasn't always like that, but it is so refreshing to finally get to that place.

I wanted to talk to you just a little bit about the networking group Level Detroit. What inspired you to take on the leadership position?

It just kinda fell into place. When I joined level as a member in January 2019 it was the first exposure I had to having any business background or education. I had never done business pre-reqs so when I started going to those meetings, I realized that there were so many other people in my shoes. 

And it really did change my life and my business. So when the previous leaders had built this huge community and said that they were stepping down from it and I was like ‘this community just made me who I am and my business what it is, I can't let this end.’ 

I love offering other women the support that I was given. But also getting that support still. Even though I lead the group, I feel I'm just as vulnerable and just as determined to learn as every member that comes to those. So I love leading in Detroit because I just feel it's no other city in the world. it's just so cool.

You still have to work hard and hustle and everything, but I just feel there is something to be sad about not being in a massive metropolis where rent is 3000 a month. It's just a little bit easier here and that you can have space to kind of be creative and relax a little bit.

And I hate to say this, but New York City- they don't need us, Detroit needs small business and it feels good to be wanted and needed. And that's what we're, we're made of in Detroit, right? 

How do you define success?

Being grateful. My secret is just being grateful for everything I have every single day I am so grateful for the life I live, for the health I have,  for the opportunity to have the education that I've gotten for the opportunity to live in a city that needs me. So I think success is being grateful and success can be at any aspect of your life.

And it's a habit, right? ...I've been trying to work at it… it's a lot easier to fall back into being grateful than being stressed once it develops into a habit, you know?

What are your goals for this upcoming year?

I think just increasing sales to get to a point that I can survive on this. Cause I no longer work in the ER. The other goal is to incorporate my passion-  I love rescuing dogs and we foster and I volunteer with the Humane Society. So incorporating that in using my platform, but not feeling bad about it, you know, I know dogs and Botox don't go together. I know there's no correlation. 

But that's okay. I can still use the platform I've built and use proceeds. I started Wag Wednesday last week where I'm going to post an adoptable dog every week or a rescue that needs money. So just incorporating my passions is another goal this year. 

I just think continuing to be grateful, you know, I think the more I can be grateful, the more good things I'm going to attract. 

What is the best advice you've ever received? 

I started seeing a therapist when I was in college… She gave me this advice. She said, you should never let anyone take away from your life. They should only add to it. And that should, that's in any aspect of your life, whether it's a husband, a spouse, whatever a parent even no one should ever take away for your light from your life because they don't deserve to be in it, then they should only add to it. 

Something I've gotten so much better as I've gotten older, because when you're younger, you're kind of , I think most women are people pleasers. I need to be nice. I don't want them to think I'm rude. And that's honestly, my favorite part of getting older is just saying no and being less apologetic. 

Yeah. That's such a good point - getting older is awesome because of that.

Between that and Botox, we're fine.

Botox and boundaries. Oh my God. I love it. 

Where you can find her: 

Instagram The Aesthetic Method 

www.theaestheticmethod.com

Zahra Huber- Host of Breaking Pita with Zee Podcast & Activist

Zahra Huber is a former journalist who now hosts her own podcast, Breaking Pita with Zee. She's a writer and an outspoken activist. She speaks about her experiences as an Arab-American Muslim woman and covers important, and sometimes sensitive, topics that affect the community. 

Zahra has always been someone who's pushed the boundaries and she isn't afraid to tell it like it is. Her fearlessness and straight-forward nature are part of what makes her podcast so unique. 

 Read on to find out about what Zahra thinks of racism in the Arab world, her experience growing up in a strict Muslim household, and what she's looking forward to in 2020. 

Tell me about your childhood. What were you like growing up?

I was very rebellious because my father was extremely strict. He was a very strict Arab with Muslim traditions and I always just rebelled because I was very independent and had my own opinions and thoughts. So I was kind of the black sheep in the family. I always broke the rules and started trends too. 

For instance, I took my scarf off and then my sister got comfortable and took hers off too. So, I was always the first to break the rules, and then everyone else followed after. 

I know that you grew up in NY. What made you decide to move to Michigan?

I grew up in Queens. I moved in 2002, when I was 19. My dad wanted to be around more Arabs- to be around the culture more.

And what was it like when you first moved here?

I hated it. I hated it so much. Now I’ve grown to love it, but I came from New York where people are from all types of different cultures and religions and no one’s really quick to judge. I had friends from all over the world. 

When I came here [to Dearborn] it was all Arabs- but like a separation of Arabs. It was just really frustrating, because I feel like the diversity was lacking. I feel like there’s diversity here, but it’s very separated diversity. 

That’s definitely something that I’ve noticed and then I’ve also seen that in comparison to other big cities it seems like people mix a bit more. I feel like it’s also gotten a lot better though. 

It has, but it still feels more divided here. I still miss that about New York. 

Do you think that racism is still a big issue in the Arab community?

Oh, absolutely. That’s another thing that was really disappointing here, is the first time that I heard the word “abeed”, which means slave in Arabic. And that’s how some Arabs, young and old alike, refer to black people. I’ve had countless arguments with people… like that’s not the word for black in Arabic. The younger generations are meshing more, but even in the Arab culture the darker the skin... Everybody wants to be light. 

I even noticed that when I was traveling overseas in Asia. All of those skin whitening creams and all of the advertisements portrayed super light skin as the beauty ideal. 

It’s changing with the younger cultures, but I feel like the older generations still value that. But then also if you’re black and muslim it’s still an issue. There’s still stereotypes about them. 

What are some of the experiences with racism that you’ve had? 

My mom is Austrian, so when we would go to Austria, and I was wearing the scarf, people would tell me to go home, which is really funny because I was born in Vienna, so like I am home. People would talk crap about me in German, but I speak German. 

I didn’t experience it as much in NY, since I feel like people are more open. Obviously, after 9/11 I had mixed remarks. Some people would come up and say how they love Muslims and they know we’re not all terrorists. It was weird, but they had good intentions. I’ve been called raghead, I’ve been asked if I was wearing a curtain on my head, I’ve been called a terrorist… just stupid things. 

Do you think that was because you were wearing a hijab?

Absolutely, I don’t get anything at all without my hijab. I think because I blend in more. When I was wearing a hijab I was wearing a symbol of my religion.

You mentioned in one of your podcast episodes (where you interviewed a friend in journalism) about how you were proud to be an Arab-American working in media, but at the same time you both felt like you were pigeon-holed or limited to mainly stories that involved the Arab community and that as much as you were eager to correct incorrect narratives, you also didn’t want to be the only one covering these stories.  How do you think employers in journalism (or other fields) can be better about this?

Yeah, so I think people expected me to behave a certain way because I wore a hijab. I think they expected this super religious, demure, quiet woman and they were surprised that I was so outspoken. I was the only Muslim, not only in my office, but in the entire building. 

I loved being able to change the narrative on Arabs and Muslims when it was incorrect, but sometimes it did feel like I was being limited. Like I’m not the only one who should be able to write about a Ramadan festival… Also, I think employers can just be more conscientious about having employees from other backgrounds. Even little things like I only eat halal, and everytime we’d get pizza they’d order pepperoni pizza and then ask me why I couldn’t just pick off the pepperoni. I explained so many times about halal and that I don’t eat pork.

I mean that’s so crazy to me because I feel like people are accommodating for vegetarians and gluten allergies, so why can’t they be more accommodating and aware for someone that eats halal...What advice would you give to a young woman who’s looking to get started in journalism?

Definitely do a lot of research and internships. Try and write as much as possible. So I graduated from U of M, and no one knew that I was a college graduate when I got there, because they don’t check your graduation. They don’t care what courses you took in college- they look at what you’ve written, what you’ve done, how well you write.. Even if you work for a tiny newspaper where you’re bringing the editor coffee for three months- do it! 

And then when you are in the newsroom working as a journalist… put yourself out there. We had interns in our newsroom and I don’t remember any of their names, because they just sat there and did what they were told. 

But I remember one intern, who really stood out to me. She wanted to work, she wanted to learn how the system worked. So, be curious and ask questions. Don’t just sit there during your internship and do what you're told. 

I feel like I’ve always had problems doing that in my jobs. I always felt like I was being too demanding, but that’s what you’re there for. Especially in a field like journalism - if people don’t know you’re there then you didn’t really make a good impression. 

Exactly, and you’re going to need to make an impression, because you’re going to need someone to recommend you. Also, don’t ever burn bridges. The journalism world-  as big as it is, it’s tiny. Always standout, no matter what you have to do. Make sure you put yourself on their radar, people will think about you for a future opportunity. 

I remember listening to a podcast from a woman who owns an incredibly successful skincare company, and she was saying that the other part of being proactive and standing out is also developing a skill set. You have to put the work in yourself as well, you have to get really good at your craft. 

In college, try and do what you can in that field. Write for your local newspaper or your college newspaper, work for their radio station. There’s no such thing as too much experience in the journalism world. 

I think it’s also about realizing that not only are you not going to be that great when you start off, but it’s also about not being too prideful, not looking down on certain assignments. 

You have to start somewhere, so don’t ever be too proud. 

Why did you decide to get out of journalism?  

Well, there were several reasons. Unless you make it really big, you do not get paid well at all. So it’s hard to maintain a normal lifestyle with that kind of pay… It also just got way too political. I just felt like I didn’t always have a say into what needed to be covered. I felt like if the bosses at the top wanted something done, then it needed to be done, so that got kind of frustrating. 

I just felt like I put in my 12 years and I just needed to pursue other passions. I love writing, so now I write for big brands at an advertising agency. I still love it, but it’s funny I don’t miss it that much… People in that business have really big heads and you clash a lot with people and it’s really stressful. The job itself is extremely stressful. You’re working weekends and weird hours. It just got very tiring. 

I would think that would give you a ton of really great skills. I personally wouldn’t want that kind of prolonged stress with a job, so that’s amazing that you lasted 12 years. You’re probably so good at thinking on your feet and reacting quickly. 

I love working on a deadline too. I don’t work well if I know I have a lot of time. 

I thrive better in that environment too. I like knowing when something’s due. 

And to be completely honest, I deal with anxiety. I’ve dealt with it for most of my life. Towards the last couple of years of my job I was having anxiety attacks and once I quit my job my anxiety attacks were gone completely. I didn’t even realize it at the time- that it had to do with the job. 

I deal with anxiety too, so I know what you mean. It’s crazy that sometimes those life stressors  can be hard to realize, especially because there were probably parts of the job you did love. And then you get out of those situations and  your stress goes down.

You’re not having an anxiety attack once a week. Some days I would call in and say I wasn’t feeling good. At first I didn’t realize that it was anxiety attacks. 

I think it’s a really hard thing to self-diagnose. When I got them years ago, I didn’t even understand what was going on. Because I had never been around someone with them. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t stop crying… I didn’t even have some traumatic event at the time, I think it was stress that built up over time that then erupted and it was only by googling it and talking to my mom and a friend that I figured it out. 

For me, I would get sick to my stomach. I would get shaky. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t realize that it was the job, because once I quit.. I can’t tell you the last time I had an anxiety attack. 

Let’s talk about your podcast, Breaking Pita with Zee. When did you decide to start your podcast?

I worked for maybe two months at a smaller talk radio station in Detroit with Amer Zahr, the comedian and he ended up leaving to Palestine for two weeks, so I was kind of on my own. It freaked me out because at my last job as a reporter I only talked for like a minute on the air. This was a two hour show! 

At first I did it with him, which was good, because if I didn’t have something to say he could fill the silence, and then suddenly he was gone and I was on my own. 

So, it was sink or swim time. 

Exactly. I just had to research certain topics, we covered a lot of civil rights topics in Detroit. 

I had always kind of considered doing a podcast, but I was always like ‘What am I going to talk about for like 25 minutes?’ And then one of my friends in NY texted me and said that she discovered me on the air and that she listened to me every morning. 

Well, when they ended up canceling the show on that channel, I was thinking about how I kind of still wanted to be on the air. And then my friend, she's like, just, this is your time, do your podcast. And so I decided to do my podcast Breaking Pita with Z. 

I mean, obviously you’re experienced in journalism, but I know it is one of those things that was obviously like now you're the one responsible for coming up with new topics. 

 My journalism background has helped with that because like I'm very comfortable interviewing people. I'm comfortable with coming up with ideas. I'm comfortable with thinking on my feet. Like if the interview's not going well, I know how to redirect it. 

And even just those two months on the air on that radio talk show. It doesn't sound long, but getting comfortable with myself and learning the difference between journalism and my podcast is journalism is very factual. You cannot tell your opinion unless you're on talk radio. 

Well, yeah, because on a podcast, the last thing you want to listen to is someone just sitting there having no opinion, no thoughts. It's like, why am I listening? So there's someone who tries to say neutral all the time. 

Yeah. Pick, pick a side. And so that's what ended up happening is I've had to like get comfortable in my own skin, like transitioning from that journalism world to more like opinionated, talk radio/podcast world. And I still find myself sometimes holding back.

Why do you find yourself holding back? 

So like 12 years of training of like never, ever voicing my opinion. It's still in the back of my head, you know, because if I had tweeted about not liking the president, I would have gotten fired at my last job. I wasn't allowed to tweet anything... And so sometimes like that fear of getting fired or somebody saying something or like telling on me, like still lives with me. So I have to remind myself, okay, no one gives a crap, say what you want to say. You can't get fired from your own podcast. 

I know you have a journalism background, but do you ever suffer from imposter syndrome? 

My podcast basically is my voice as an Arab-American Muslim woman in America. The things I've seen, the things I've dealt with, obviously, not everybody in my culture or religion deals with or sees the same things as me. And so sometimes I do doubt about talking about certain topics. 

For instance, I think one of my hardest ones was racism in the Arab culture, because I don't want to give us a bad name at all. I don't want non-Arabs or non-Muslims to listen to this and be like, Oh, so like Arabs are all racist against black people or against each other. 

I don't want to create a bad opinion of us, but at the same time, like I want to speak the truth. So I do have doubts like that sometimes. 

You cover a lot of very challenging topics and the topics that I'm sure a lot of people would maybe rather not talk about. It's uncomfortable, but as uncomfortable as it is, it's uncomfortable for the people going through it too. That's why you keep talking about these issues.

So one of the things that I recorded for my second season is about domestic abuse in the culture. And how it's pretty quiet just because of how huge reputation is. But I still recorded it and I'm still gonna put it out. There's a small group and like every group, no matter who it is, there's always that small group that will misrepresent the rest of the culture. 

The more you shine light on these subjects and the easier it becomes, for example, for a woman to get help and to not be embarrassed to leave a bad situation. 

Yeah. So that's what I try to do with my podcast. I mean I haven’t, knock on wood, gotten much negative feedback so far. I do worry sometimes about the backlash, but I think that's a problem in our culture. We worry so much about people's opinions and the backlash about things that we do. One of the reasons that it took me like four years to take my scarf off is because of the backlash that I was afraid of.

And I struggled with my scarf for years, I hated wearing it. Like, it didn't feel like me anymore. And I struggled with it only because I was worried about that backlash.

The other thing I want to talk about is like representation of Arabs and Muslims in the media. 

It's definitely getting a lot better. I feel like, cause I remember like in the nineties when I would turn on the TV and there was a bad guy, like it was always an Arab. And like Arabs were never in a positive light in movies or television shows or like anything.

I was reading about Ramy Youssef, the actor and how he's turned down roles, where he’s said “I'm not going to play a terrorist. I'm not giving in to that stereotype.” And there’ve been other Muslim and Arab actors who've done the same thing. 

But we're still talked about badly in the media; Muslim countries and how we shouldn't be coming over to the US and so on. 

What do you feel is the biggest misconception about Islam and in particular its relationship with woman?

 Probably that women have absolutely no rights at all. There are a lot of government restrictions that have nothing to do with our religion… this idea that women have absolutely no rights, that we have absolutely no voice, that our religion completely takes power away from us and that we're completely oppressed. 

What is it about Detroit or Dearborn that inspires you and what do you wish you could change? 

I feel like honestly there's some really bad ass Muslim and Arab women in Dearborn. we're seeing it a lot more around here. Like everywhere I look there's like a female Muslim entrepreneur. And so I just think that is really cool and that's very inspirational. I think there's an incredible entrepreneurial spirit. 

What does success mean to you?

Fulfilling your passion. Honestly, like even if you don't have to be making money to be successful, I think doing what you absolutely love, taking no shit from anyone and letting nothing hold you back, including yourself. 

It's interesting that you say ‘including yourself’. 

You’re your own biggest critic and you're the wall between you and what's behind that door. 

And I think, especially as an entrepreneur, you have a million times a day where you have self doubt and you're like, what am I doing? I'm not good enough for this. I feel like a lot of women, we overthink things. Like just go do it. 

Just put yourself out there and then you'll see it probably you're gonna have to adjust and pivot 10 million times. I feel like as women, like sometimes from our family or other people who critique us, I feel like we're so worried too about everyone being right about us. 

Like, see, this is why you should just be at home cooking and cleaning all day because you're going to fail as an entrepreneur, you know? But we have to stop giving a shit. 

Oh yeah, no, definitely just do it. Just do it. Just put yourself out there. Who's your biggest inspiration?

I love Ilhan Omar and Michelle Obama. And honestly I get inspired every single day by women that I read about coming out of Metro Detroit, not just Arabs or Muslims, but just by women who've struggled, but yet continue to prove everybody wrong. Like, I feel like those are my biggest inspirations because my own struggles seem so small after that.

Absolutely. I agree with you. I do find that incredibly inspiring.

It's always inspiring to me just because struggles can break you or make you, and I see so much more now of people being made because of their struggles.

 I think women are being a lot more open about it, because I think before it was something so private and you weren't supposed to talk about it. And I feel like now people are finally like, yeah, I did struggle. And here's what I did or here's what helped me. But also like being just honest about it, that not everyday is this perfect highlight reel.

Exactly. Yup. That's always, I'm really happy to like, you know, hear about that as well. And it's also the honesty and openness, especially in a community that's traditionally a bit more like closed off. It can really help other people. 

What are your goals for this upcoming year? 

I have several goals; one is to finish my second season and then publish it and then get started on my third. COVID kind of put me back a little bit.  I actually, like, I want, I want to write a book. 

Oh, that's amazing. What are you going to write about in your book? 

So I'm pretty sure I've told you, but I grew up in a very abusive household. Like my dad was extremely abusive and like told all of us basically that we wouldn't become anything.

And now we have like doctors in the family and an engineer and you know I did something with myself as well  and I proved him wrong. Honestly, like my aim is to inspire anybody else that like you can come out of it. 

I think that's really great. I was very lucky to have a very good childhood and really supportive parents. They always pushed us to get an education and do more and be more. But I think that must be very hard growing up like that. As a kid if you think that you're alone and that no one else is going through the same thing as you, they, it has to be like a terrible feeling of like hopelessness, especially as a teenage girl.

I think that's probably when it was the hardest, as a teenage girl. People are shocked when I tell them about my childhood. I wasn't allowed to listen to music. I wasn't allowed to go to classes after dark. I wasn't allowed to talk to men whatsoever. Like zero communication with men. If my dad saw me talking to someone of the opposite sex, it didn't matter who it was. When I got home I got beat for it.

 But I feel like I still was able to teach myself social skills and I was always just very bullheaded and stubborn.

Not only are you a strong woman, but you also obviously have this belief about creating your own destiny. 

Absolutely. 

That would be amazing for younger girls that are maybe going through something similar to be able to realize they're not alone in this world.

And that they don't need to suffer by themselves. That they can reach out for help and not suffer in silence.

Do you have any tips or resources that you'd recommend? 

 Honestly, I feel like the best thing to do is like to talk to other people because like you're never going to get like someone else's real hardcore experiences through a  book, like connecting with other entrepreneurs. People who've been through it and really like getting an idea of what you're going to deal with.

Or maybe even somebody who can inspire you along the way?

There are going to be moments where you're like, I'm a failure and this sucks. But just to look for other entrepreneurs and get the insight on their raw experiences.

Sometimes other people, who aren’t entrepreneurs, don't understand what you're doing and that can kind of like rub off on you. 

True and then not only do you already suffer from self doubt, but then you like have this other person doubting you. 

Exactly, and that can be really damaging. Having somebody else talk to in that world is probably the best way to go about it.  

Where you can find her: 

Breaking Pita with Zee 

Instagram: @breakingpitawithzee @misszee25

Alyssa Space - CEO of ForHer Cosmetics & Founder of MySpace Laboratories

I met Alyssa last year and at a Posh and Popular event where we were both vendors. We started with small talk but when she began telling me about her business and her career I was immediately drawn in. 

Alyssa is a trained chemist- she’s started in a field that has few women, and even fewer women of color. She not only started her own cruelty-free, vegan cosmetics line ForHerCosmetics but she also started a lab space MySpace Laboratory so that girls from different backgrounds could explore careers in STEM. 

She has also integrated a mental health and anti-bullying portion into her program with My Space Laboratories. She believes in speaking out against the stigmas of seeking help and breaking  societal norms. 

I had the privilege to speak with Alyssa now only about how she’s grown her program and business so tremendously in the past two years but also about her experiences as a black woman in corporate America and what can be done to be more inclusive. 

Read on to hear about Alyssa’s pathway into science, how she wants to encourage more girls to go into STEM, and why taking care of your mental health is a key factor in success.

Tell me about your childhood. What were you like as a kid and where did you grow up?

I was born in Chicago, Illinois.  My mother and father raised me there along with my younger brother, Alex. We moved from Chicago to Detroit when I was in first grade though. The transition was a little hard... I grew up in Detroit. I went to a Catholic, private high school and then went to university at MSU. 

When do you think your interest in science and specifically chemistry started?

I think my interest in science started around when I was about eight years old, because I can vividly remember when my mother would have all of these perfumes and these lotions in her bathroom and I would take them and I would start mixing them with sunscreen and tanning lotion and just all these different perfumes. 

Essentially I was creating when I was just eight years old and I didn't even know what I was doing at that time. I just knew I liked what I was doing and I liked creating. 

And then to actually, as I did get older, like into middle school, I loved doing science fairs. I would go beyond the class requirements. I would enter into like competitions through my school or our district for DPS students and  would win prizes. I was also just really into STEM in general because I also played academic games when I was younger. So I literally played math games for fun.

That's so cool that you knew that from such a young age, that you really enjoyed it and like you not only enjoyed the classes, but you were able to do stuff outside of the classes as well. 

My mom really pushed us to explore different things. My mother had us in everything, so I definitely got a taste of what I really enjoyed.

When do you think that your interest in science and chemistry kind of morphed into cosmetics?

I knew in high school that I wanted to have my own business because throughout my childhood into my young adulthood, I worked… So I always had a drive to have my own thing, but as far as like the chemistry part coming in with the cosmetics it stemmed from when I was younger and once again, like I was in dance and a lot of times with all the times, whenever we have to perform, you have to wear these really bright red lipsticks. And it just like, looks so bad on me.

My complexion just didn't go with what they were offering us. So I knew that I wanted to have my own brand one because I wanted cosmetics that actually complimented my skin because not too long ago a lot of colors were really bright and they didn't go with my undertones or my skin tone. I really wanted to start a line when I was in college. 

I actually ended up meeting a lady who had her own brand and she ended up becoming my mentor and she essentially helped me with the process of starting. Once I got my degree, I began formulating after college.

 I think it's awesome that you found a mentor at that age even if you have that drive to own your own business and you've had it for a while, there's always those doubts that linger in the back of your mind. 

Whenever I've gone to an interview, I've always asked them ‘what is your community initiative?’ How do you really give back? Do you get involved with your community? Do you help children that are disadvantaged? I've never seen that in companies I worked for. 

As a brand too, that's really important to me, like a brand that actually stands for something outside of just commission and money. It's about the initiative, who you're affecting, who you're impacting, et cetera. 

Yeah, I definitely want to get into that because I completely agree. There are so many opportunities to give back and use those skills. I know you mentioned that part of the reason you wanted to start, this was like, because you noticed there weren’t shades that complimented your skin tone. 

Statistically if you look at the beauty industry black women buy the most cosmetics. Our spending power is huge. 

What do you think brands can do like a better job of doing in terms of being inclusive? How do you think companies can make more impactful changes?

Honestly, I think that because like the customer, the, you know, the quote customer is always right, do more customer discovery. Like I'm in a class, a cohort right now through TechTown and essentially we're learning about customer discovery, who do we market to what it's like, who is our target market, et cetera. And honestly, outside of that, like if you really talk to who your customer base is, like if you get feedback from women that outside of just having models or people on the board that are of color, but like actually going out into the communities and interviewing women… 

Because you create something that you don't know what is lacking … So asking the questions, even if they are hard and just doing some really deep diving.

I know that ForHer cosmetics is vegan and cruelty free. And you're really good about using just like natural ingredients. Why was it important for you that ForHer cosmetics remain that way? 

Yes. So when I started working as a teenager, actually my first job was in a holistic center. So I was molded and taught that natural is the best way… It was important to me because what you put in your body is essentially what you get from it, that’s how your body will treat you back.

And the FDA doesn't put a lot of regulations on the cosmetics that we use. So I want it to be a transparent brand. And then you're using these products every day and your skin is the biggest organ on your body. So it's literally absorbing everything that you expose it to; the sunlight, the wind, lotions, moisturizers, exfoliants... 

It was a big deal for me to create a brand that was nontoxic  but still delivered the same quality look for women. 

Like one for someone who I obviously don't have a chemistry or science background, but especially after having lived in Europe for years, I feel like labels are much better regulated there. 

And I really think that too has to do with the culture of how women are treated in America in general.I just feel like you don't hear these types of things about men's products or their shaving creams or what they use on their body. It's just because the FDA is typically, typically run by men. 

I think that if we have more women in that sector, then we would have more strict regulations on what you can even label as natural because there's not even really guidelines on what you can label “organic” or “natural”.

I was looking at this exfoliator I have for my face and like it's marketed as a natural brand. It's in Target and it's in their natural section, but then I'm looking at the ingredients I'm wondering, is this natural or are these chemicals?

Literally most of my products use around five to six ingredients. Outside of preservatives, you shouldn't be having a thousand ingredients in your product.

I know that you do a lot of work to promote the STEM field for women and girls of color. What are some of the struggles that you've gone through in that field?

In school, it was hard because humans just in general, we attract people that look like us. So being one of the only black females and at Michigan State it was intimidating because I feel like I didn't fit in with a lot of my peers when I was in college. I didn't really relate. I did a lot of studying on my own when I was in school. So I did feel alone a lot of times. 

Once  I got into the chemistry, natural science college, they didn't have any support groups for students of color. And we need that. We need that extra support because a lot of people in my family, a lot of people that I know aren’t in this field. They can't help me with my homework or give me suggestions. 

And then as I got into corporate America, I feel like it was actually worse. I had my first job in my field and it's kinda like you’re just thrown to the wolves  in STEM. They expect you to know everything. 

I don't know, it was intimidating. I would come home and cry like to my boyfriend at the time.I just went to school for five years and I feel incompetent. I'm not really getting any support from my coworkers. 

It's been rewarding, but it's also been being kind of set up against women of color in STEM too. I would get picked last essentially for team projects and things like that. It was just kind of like passive behavior, but it was hard. 

That's why I was really propelled to really push, to do my own brand and create a space where I felt comfortable and other people could feel comfortable working in science. And  that's the name of my lab. It's called My Space Laboratories, which is a collaborative lab space for all to come and create. 

Yeah, I think that's such an amazing brand message and it just makes me really sad that I hear that so much from women of color that they like as much as it's amazing that like you're creating your own brand and you have this really awesome company. It's sad that you had to do this to create your own space and that we’re not further along in 2020.

I mean, I think it really, it goes back to, to just like, like, even back when, like we couldn't even go to like the same colleges, like it kind of, I feel like has trickled down in just a different manner. 

 What do you think can be done to encourage more young girls to go into STEM, especially young girls of color?

I think especially like what I do with My Space Laboratories is allowing girls to have access to resources and knowing that there are options because I feel like a lot of times there's a stereotype that if I go into STEM, I either have to be an engineer, a doctor, or a nurse. There are just so many different routes that you can go.

I know we just talked about your experience in corporate America, but outside of just doing the token diversity programs and HR booklets, what do you think that companies can kind of do to have like more meaningful change so that hopefully in the future someone like you who's like educated and talented doesn't feel excluded and alienated? 

Doing quarterly or annual surveys on how people are really feeling in their workplace. On if people feel their voice is being heard and they’re being included. 

I think that getting to know how your actual employees feel and how they're affected at work and what their settings do to them mentally is important. 

Also having hopefully more women of, especially women of color, at upper level positions and implementing. So essentially implementing them and then evaluating these implementations. 

Tell me more about My Space Laboratory and why you decided to start it. 

I started chemistry and cosmetics as a program that I ran through ForHer Cosmetics to essentially raise money like capital for my business. So I would teach children how to do these projects and then nonprofits like YMCA, NSBE, and the boxing youth program, they have budgets for these STEM experiments and experiences. I would use that money to like funnel back into my business to just continue to build it. 

As my business began to grow more momentum, I didn't really need the chemistry and cosmetics program to fund my business. It was self sufficient.

 So I was like, okay, maybe I can turn this into a nonprofit now…. How can I offer this program to underserved and underrepresented children in my community while still bringing the same impact, the same program and not going broke. 

I started the nonprofit so that I could bring these courses to students to empower them to explore these careers in STEM through hands-on learning and alternative exploration. It's a full program where they learn how to start a business and they learn about self-esteem, anti-bullying, and suicide prevention.

After they go through learning how to start a business and being a better person... they learn about the raw materials that we're using, how they work, where they originated from their melting points, their boiling points, whatever it may be that they do in the actual formula. And they get to then go into the lab or the space that I would bring with me and they can make their own lip, balms, lipsticks, lip, glosses, et cetera. And it just went so well … and now COVID hits.

I actually sat down for the last four months and created a curriculum with the home developer for 12 or 13 experiments that will be subscription boxes. I've done it with schools to now, like I've already served over 2200 kids in the last year alone. 

Why did you decide to add in that kind of mental health portion and anti-bullying into the program?

I just want girls and kids to know that you can be smart and it's not a bad thing. It's a good thing because at the end of the day, it's going to get you paid. 

And then too, my brother has suffered from schizophrenia and bipolar disorder as well as my father. So I understand the importance of mental health and mental wealth. Especially in the black community, there's a stigma around mental health and going to therapy. So I just started going to therapy myself last year, September. I've actually been going for a year now and it has helped me so much. 

And I just want kids to understand that it's okay to talk up, ask for help and understand that as a person you're going to go through an emotional roller coaster. 

To tell them that dealing with their mental health and being an educated individual are the pillars of being a good person.

I have heard a lot about that, about how mental health still has a really big stigma in the black community. 

So that it does tie to that as well, too… Even with my mother, she's not really a big mental health advocate, just because of the way that she grew up in her degeneration prior to her... so I'm trying to really break the “societal norms” and introduce what we really should be getting more into outside of STEM, mental health, self esteem, self love. 

 What is the best piece of advice you've ever received and from whom?

Instead of always trying to make sure everything is perfect before you present or go for something, just go for it. And along the way, tweak it to where you want it to be. Because when I first launched my business, like I literally had little lip balm tubes that I put my lipstick in. I had little stickers that I put on my packaging. My lip glosses were literally like beauty supply lip gloss tubes. And although it wasn't perfect, I perfected it along the way. 

And I'm just happy that I was told and pushed to like really just pursue what I loved to do and what I wanted to put out there. And I was able to make mistakes and then still fix them and become better.

 I've heard that advice so many times and because it is literally the best advice, it's partially a fear of failure. You show up and you put yourself out there. So I totally totally agree with that.

When I've had my first month of sales, like we launched in may of 2018. So it was like right around Mother's Day. And my first month of sales, I have $50 worth of sales. And then within a year, I've had months where I've had over $3,500 a month. 

The effort you put into your business, what you want to get out of it matters.  Consistency over talent every day, consistency, literally dedication.

And just like having that, that winning mindset because honestly we really can do like, we're amazing creatures. We can do anything we set our mind to do. The people who succeed are the ones who never gave up. 

There are so many people that have started their own small businesses that are super talented, but fell back a little bit too much on that talent but you need to have a real product and you need to really work hard. I like what you said about like, listen, we started with $50 in the month of sales.

Bootstrapping. It has been honestly like it's been great, honestly. I would work the second shift at my last job. I would formulate from 11 pm until like four or five in the morning.

And now, I have like seven interns who helped me with production, web development, and social media coordination. It takes time… with our generation, we just want that immediate gratification, like, Oh, okay. I started a business yesterday. I should be famous... Great things take time.

What advice would you give for a woman in leadership who now has employees or interns to manage?

Definitely take your time with hiring. Hire slow, fire fast. I never understood that until I started hiring my own people. 

You should take your time and do your due diligence to hire people that are going to do like the best and are in your corner. 

Really stand behind what you believe in and what you say so that people respect it. Like your word is law in your space. And then also obviously respect your employees too, because they are people they deserve respect and learn to work with different people. 

Who is your biggest inspiration?

The lady I look up to outside of my mother is Mae Jemison and she was the first female African American to space with NASA. I got to meet her when I graduated college. I have always been inspired by her resilience and determination to go to space and be at NASA. 

What are your goals for this upcoming year?

For this year we plan and to essentially roll out our board of directors for my space laboratory so that we can begin implementing our programs into more public schools, as well as rolling out our subscription boxes before the end of the year, 

As far as ForHer cosmetics goes we're in process of solidifying my ADA certification, like government contracting while also just getting everything in order to be on to be on shelves in stores by next year. We want to be in a major retail space next year

In the next year. So that would be so cool. I really like where I know you guys have a website, but are you in any boutiques as well? 

ForHer Cosmetics is available on Detroit Is The New Black’s marketplace here in Detroit. We also sell our products through two online websites called Feloh, which is a black owned app and we’re also available on we buy black, which is one of the biggest platforms for black owned businesses. 

Where you can find her: 

ForHer Cosmetics

MySpace Labs

Candice Smith- Professional Violinist, Educator & Entrepreneur

Candice has been playing the violin for almost 20 years and is both an artist and a business woman. Much like how the city of Detroit has risen, Candice has used her grit and determination to overcome the odds and become a successful musician. 

Despite her comparatively late foray into music, Candice has worked hard, stayed focused, and come out on top. She has a bachelors in music and masters in public administration from Florida A & M University. She’s been shaped by her setbacks, but she doesn’t let them define her. She’s a perfectionist in her craft and her dedication is evident in each performance she gives. She believes in changing with the times and staying agile. 

Read on for some incredible words of wisdom from Candice about staying true to yourself, overcoming the odds, and the importance of being a multi-faceted entrepreneur. 

Where did you grow up? How was your childhood?

I grew up in Detroit, Michigan. I have a little sister; we played outside a lot. I was into sports; I kind of grew up as a tomboy- so it’s funny that I’m such a girly girl now. And then eventually, I got started with the violin.

When do you think you started becoming interested in music?

I would say when I noticed that I was good at it. So, I would say middle school for sure. In middle school I started noticing that I was one of the best in the entire class. That gave me the confidence to move forward into pursuing music and enjoying it as well.

How did you get started playing the violin? 

All of the kids at my school had to start with the recorder to become familiar with reading music. In the fourth grade we went on to play the violin. My mom told me how she found a paper in my bookbag when I was in third grade about how my school was offering violin, so she signed me up. I pretty much liked it at first, since only a select few people were in the violin class, so it was an incentive for me. 

What training did you have? Did you go to a performing arts high school?

Yes, I went to Detroit School of Arts, but I began my training in elementary school. The middle school that I went to offered orchestra, and the teacher was really good and that really helped me out since I wasn’t taking private lessons. 

Most people start taking lessons around 3-5 years old. I hadn’t had private training through elementary or middle school and then I went on to Detroit School of Arts. And then in my sophomore year I was fortunate enough to apply to a program to receive free private lessons from a Detroit Symphony Orchestra member and that was pretty huge. That was very influential in my career as a violinist. 

Normally the lessons are around $125 per lesson. So I was very fortunate to have those lessons for free. 

Wow, that’s such an amazing opportunity. 

That was offered to me for 2 years and then the third year my teacher gave me a discounted rate. I’m grateful for that. 

I feel like that’s the view of the professional music world, is that it can be kind of elitist. You have to have access to those lessons, and obviously not many American families can afford $600- $700, not to mention the time it takes to drive to lessons and so on. 

I was lucky because the Detroit Symphony Orchestra Hall was literally next door, so I could walk next door to the lessons. 

I know that you also worked in Detroit Public Schools for a while. What do you think can be done to make music education in general more accessible and to have more kids be able to participate?

I think it’s awesome that I’m teaching at a performing arts school now, so it gives students, who normally wouldn’t have the opportunity to pursue the performing arts at this high level, to receive these classes every single day. I think it’s great that they’re able to be exposed to those arts in the school setting every single day and they actually get 4 electives, on top of small-group after school programs, so they can get individualized attention. 

I think it would also be great if there was a program or grant to allow students to study privately, because that’s one of the things that really pushes them. Having individual instruction would be great. 

Even for me, I went to school in very well-off suburbs, but it still seemed like they were always having budget cuts and the first classes to get cut were electives. I feel like they’re not valued. What impact do you think musical education has on a kid’s life?

I think it gives them the opportunity to step outside of their comfort zone and to explore creativity. For some kids, I think that it gives them confidence to know that they’re good at something and I feel like that can spread to their core curriculum subjects. 

Also, for instrumental music students are actually exercising both sides of their brains when they’re playing an instrument and reading music at the same time. A lot of studies have said that that helps and transfers to other subjects. 

I’ve heard that too. I feel like it’s similar to language learning. People try and argue that it’s a waste of time if you’re not going to use that skill later on in life or make a career out of it, but it’s not necessarily about that skill- it’s about giving them the confidence. If that skill isn’t valued in that school district then a student can really start to doubt themselves, when in reality you’re just talented in a different way. 

The arts give them a reason to want to come to school. Not wanting to be at school will affect your learning. For me, I was excited to come to school each and every day to go to orchestra class. 

How did you become comfortable performing? Do you think this came naturally to you? And what advice would you give someone for stage fright?

I think that it happens over time. I used to literally shake while I was playing; I was so nervous. You have to make sure that you’re 100% prepared. I believe that the confidence is built over time but only if you’re prepared for that performance. 

Yes, that definitely makes sense. That’s a habit that I’m still working on- being properly prepared. I’m the worst procrastinator. How do you prepare for an upcoming performance?

It really depends. It depends on if the client is requesting songs that I’ve already performed many times before or if they’re new songs, but practicing is always important. 

Why did you decide to go away to school in Florida?

During my senior year of high school, my school went to Disney World to perform. We stopped at Florida A & M University and everyone applied for scholarships. 

We auditioned for scholarships. What happens is that you play, and then they either mail you a letter or they tell you right then and there what they’re going to offer you. 

I was just practicing one day and their director of the college of music walked by me and said “Young lady, you have earned yourself a full-ride scholarship.” 

Wow! That’s so incredible. 

And I hadn’t even auditioned. I still had to formally go through the audition process. So since I wanted to be in Florida and I was offered a full-ride so I knew I couldn’t beat that. 

Why did you decide to come back to Detroit?

I heard about all of the great things that were happening in the city. There wasn’t as much going on downtown when I left. Also, family. Because family is more important than a job. 

What about Detroit inspires you? 

The people in Detroit are very passionate and talented. I believe there’s a different drive in Detroit. I believe that a lot of people are hard-workers and go-getters, and I would have to say that about myself as well. 

I didn’t receive private lessons until my sophomore year and most people start at 5 and I was still able to become a professional violinist. A lot of people have been in the same circumstances as me, they worked really hard to get to where they are although they didn’t have the same tools as everyone else.

What advice would you give someone who’s looking to make a career out of music?

They have to first believe in themselves, because a career in music is not always looked upon positively, it’s a risky business. You have to be a hard worker and have a background in business, because many successful musicians have revenue outside of just performances. You need to know how to manage your money. 

 That’s so interesting that you talk about being financially savvy, because I feel like a lot of people don’t ever mention that when they’re talking about pursuing the arts and I think that’s insane. You have to wear so many different hats as a performing artist and a small business owner. It takes such discipline. 

A lot of people may not know about the money aspect, but something that helped me was my masters in Public Administration. I was working in positions that required me to use different skills, I had to be organized at a very high level and worked for very influential people. I learned so many things in those positions and transferred them over to what I’m doing now. 

People tend to pigeon-hole themselves, and I’ve been guilty of that myself. Telling myself that I didn’t need to learn certain skills since it wasn’t directly applicable to what I was doing. But the reality is, as an entrepreneur you have to be good at so many things, at least to know the basics. 

Yes, when I was taking finance classes or working in those positions I never thought that those skills would one day help me with my music career. Later I realized that those skills were transferable. 

For anyone reading this, who doesn’t have a higher education,  it’s also about seeking out resources to educate yourself. There are free courses through public libraries, cheap books on amazon, podcasts etc. 

You don’t have to go to school. There are so many resources. You have to be able to teach yourself. There are so many tools.

Who’s your biggest inspiration?

I was interested in jazz music but then someone asked me if I really wanted to learn jazz or it was more the improvisation part of jazz that I was interested in. 

Jill Scott because her music is jazzy, but it’s R&B and soul music. I like how she incorporates different styles and different genres. Another one of my inspirations is Jean Luc-Ponty. He’s another one of those musicians that set the tone for electric violinists. 

What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given and by whom?

Immediately act on a good idea. Don’t ponder on it too long. If you have a good idea and you think it through for a day, make plans. There have been a lot of times where I didn’t necessarily have all of the pieces of the puzzle put together, but I had a good idea. But I knew if I thought about it too long I wouldn’t do it. 

You also have to be able to adjust at any time. I think that really helped me during the pandemic. Because a lot of people got frustrated because they couldn’t perform. Everyone’s feelings are valid, but it’s important to know that life is going to have twists and turns all the time, but your level of success will be measured by your ability to adjust as soon as possible. 

So for me, COVID 19 hit, I can’t perform, but what can I do? Before a lot of people started doing things virtually I had already adjusted. I started doing online performances and private lessons. 

Going off your first point, it seems like everyone has some new business idea or venture, and while that’s great, if you just keep talking about it and you don’t act on it, it’s just an idea. Which is usually followed up by excuses as to why you can’t start due to lack of resources. But starting small is key, and I think people are scared of failure, but that’s how you learn. 

Right, but you have to just get started, that’s the most important thing. I remember when I first started my videos a few years ago when I was still in college. I knew that they might not be my best videos, that they might not be at the standard I want them to be at, but as long as I start that’s what’s most important. And if I would have never started then I wouldn’t be where I’m at now. 

What challenges do you come across as a woman in your field?

One issue about being a performing artist in general is staying true to yourself. People were trying to convince me to do rap songs or K-pop, because then I would go viral, but I don’t really listen to those genres so it wouldn’t make sense for me. It’s important to be yourself no matter what people are telling you to do and people will like you for being authentic. 

It’s important to start with a clear mind and a clear sense of what you want to do, before outside influences get involved.

When I was younger I wanted to be more of a people pleaser, especially at work, now that I’m older I care less about what people think. I care less about making waves. Now I’m at the point, where if I don’t want to do something or I don’t feel comfortable, I’m not going to. Setting boundaries is important. 

I feel like that’s a huge thing in culture right now. I think a lot of women are standing up for themselves now. 

How do you define success?

Success is living everyday with purpose. I think a lot of people think that success is reaching this certain stage of your life… But I don’t think that it’s about reaching a certain area of your life, because what happens when you reach that level. What comes after that? Will you truly be happy? Or can you find happiness in each and every day?

I think that success also comes from doing what you truly love to do. I think it’s being bold and doing what you want to do. Success is not letting anyone alter what you know you should be doing. A lot of people are scared to face what they know they should be doing, because they want to impress other people.

Everyone’s position in life should be to help someone. And if your purpose in life doesn’t involve helping someone, you’re not successful. 

I think that’s a good, modern idea of success, because the idea that each of us is going to be successful on our own, on our own little island is so archaic to me. You should be bringing other people up with you. I’ve had so many people that have helped me throughout my life. 

Right and nobody gets somewhere without help. Everyone has things that they’re good at and we’re supposed to use those things and help other people. 

What are your goals for this upcoming year?

Throughout the pandemic I’ve really challenged myself to be more consistent. So continuing to be consistent, continuing to have creative ideas. Pushing for more virtual performances and just adapting as much as possible. 

What are some helpful resources? 

I love listening to Heather Lindsey. She’s amazing, especially for young women. She’s my go-to. She has a podcast with her husband. It’s important to focus on things that don’t just pertain to your craft but also to your personal life. Because if you’re not right in your personal life, it can affect your craft. 

Where you can find her: 

https://www.iamprettystringz.com 

Instagram: @iamprettystringz 

Youtube: IamPrettyStringz

Areej Daghlas- MUA

Areej Daghlas is a licensed esthetician and a freelance makeup artist. She is known for “the glow” and a flawless finish on all her clients. What sets Areej apart is not only her talent, but her incredible energy.

From personal experience I can say that she truly has a gift for making clients feel at ease right away, as if she’s a long-lost friend. With all of the stereotypes about the beauty industry and the cattiness that can exemplify it, Areej brings a warmness and a kindness that is hard to find in today’s world. 

She has been in the makeup industry for over 9 years and is currently at Cool Blue Salon, as well as working as an esthetician at the newly opened Lash & Co. 

Areej sat down and talked with us about what inspired her to get into the beauty industry, who she looks up to the most, and how she sees the beauty industry changing. 

Tell me a little about your background, both professional and personal. 

I was born in Jordan, and then I was raised here in the US, in Michigan. As I was growing up, I was surrounded by my mom’s family, mostly my aunts and they always had this love for art and beauty, so that’s what really motivated me and inspired me… I was always sketching things on paper, watching them, and then I realized that I had love for anything that had to do with art. 

I got caught up in makeup and then just a year ago I decided to get back into esthetics. I give client’s advice for their skin for a better makeup application. 

I could totally see that. I am a makeup fiend, but I started realizing that I needed to pay more attention to my skin. As a teenager I had bad skin and that’s what I thought makeup was about was piling on pasty makeup to cover it up, instead of just dealing with the bad skin. 

That’s really what we all thought makeup was about- covering up, but it’s really about enhancing. 

How did you actually get started in the field of makeup? Did you just get started by doing it on your friends and then growing from there?

So, I used to do my own makeup. I did it for prom and then I got so many compliments that after that I would have friends come over and they would ask me to do their makeup. After that, I applied to work at a salon at Cool Blue. And that’s where I grew. 

That’s awesome! So for makeup, you’re completely self-taught?

Yes, yes I am. 

And how did you get started in esthetics? 

I was still in high school when I was taking the course. I was a senior. I loved what being an esthetician was; being able to take care of your skin. Even the medical aesthetics field was so interesting to me. I felt like they both went together. 

Like I said, I’m super into makeup but I feel like the beauty industry as a whole is super misunderstood. I feel like there are still people outside of it that look down upon it a little bit. They’ll say things like “Oh, it’s just very superficial, it gives women image issues.” What do you think is the most misunderstood part of being in the beauty industry?

People think that it’s superficial, that you’re trying to hide who you are or the way that you look. But in reality I think it plays a huge role in how you feel. Especially nowadays in the beauty industry I think we’ve gotten better with being happier with ourselves. 

I feel like at the end of the day people should do whatever it is that makes them feel better; If that’s what makes you feel better, then do it. I don’t think anyone else should have a problem with it- that’s between you and yourself. 

What are some things that you think need to change about the beauty industry? 

It’s just that with Instagram; it’s made it a little bit unrealistic for people. That’s one thing that I would change because as a professional makeup artist everytime that clients would bring me a photo, I can tell it’s been retouched, it’s been filtered. 

And they’ll tell me they want their makeup like that, but it’s unrealistic because all of these pictures have been made for instagram to make them look like they’re perfect. But in real life we have pores, fine lines, and we’re still going to have those imperfections when makeup is applied. 

How does Detroit inspire you?

I’ve fallen in love with the city itself in the past few years. Just because I’ve seen it grow and I see how much potential we have in downtown Detroit with all of these artists. You walk around and there’s so much positivity and so much support. You feel like art just lives there. It’s continuously growing. There are so many things that are being accomplished. 

What does success mean to you?

I feel like success is when you’re at peace with yourself internally and you’re happy with yourself and what you’re doing and then that will reflect on the success that you have whether that’s in relationships or even professionally. Because then you’re able to give it all the love that you’ve given yourself. Success to me means being happy and comfortable with your own life, and making others feel good. 

I know this is a very weird question at this time, but post-corona, what are your goals for 2020?

My goal post-corona is to be really grateful for every moment and not take anything for granted. To really appreciate the work I love even more. 

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

I see myself, hopefully in less than 10 years, having my own studio and being able to teach other artists who are just starting out how to succeed in the beauty industry; how to be confident. Just being able to provide them with the skills that I’ve learned over the years. I definitely see me educating, whether that be with makeup or with skincare. 

I definitely think you’d be an incredible teacher. What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given? And by whom?

The best advice I’ve ever been given was by my mom. It was after I’d had a really rough weekend, I had a few not so nice people in my chair and it really put me down- this was in the beginning of my career.

I remember my mom telling me “You know that you love what you do and that’s what brings this person to you. So always believe in what your skills are and make sure that every day you’re learning something to get better and to provide for yourself.” 

Who’s been the most inspiring female influence in your life? 

It would have to be my mom for sure. Ever since I was a little girl she was going to school, she graduated university with a degree, she came here and she was away from her family and she was able to keep us all together and stay strong, while not having her family near her, and I admire that. And just for always pushing us to do better. 

If you could go back in time and give advice to your younger self what would it be?

It would be to love who you are and not be so hard on yourself and be more confident and outspoken because I was always very quiet and to myself. And just loving myself, I feel like I was always very rough on myself when I was younger. 

What’s a helpful resource that you would recommend?

I really like Carly Bybel’s style and how she started and her story. And also, I would say Mario Testino as well. I get a certain vibe from those two that they worked really hard to get where they’re at right now and I’m inspired by their style of makeup. 

Where you can find her: 

www.areejdaghlas.com

Instagram @areejdaghlas ⁣

Latasha James- Owner of digital marketing agency, podcast host, + content creator

Our first interview was with local Detroit entrepreneur Latasha James. She's the owner of the digital marketing studio JAMES + PARK, a content creator, and a coach. 

We talked with her about how she got started, what she loves about Detroit, and what inspired her to strike out on her own. 

Read on for some great tips and resources from Latasha. You can find Latasha on instagram @thelatashajames, on her site https://latashajames.com, or on Youtube.

Tell me a little bit about your background. Did you grow up in Michigan? What was that like?

I’m a freelance marketer and I own James and Park. I’m also a content creator, I create digital content on Youtube. I’ve been in Detroit for 5 years and I’m originally from Kalamazoo. I love to eat and travel. 

How did you get started in your field?

I was a poli sci and film major, originally I wanted to work in the news in college, but then I started researching career prospects- there wasn’t much money and I didn’t want to move far.

I started experimenting with making videos online and then people reached out to do freelance work. I started on [the freelance site] Upwork during college

Being a film major definitely helped. Social media is video now, I feel very confident knowing how to make videos. I definitely use what I learned in school everyday. Even poli sci really helps for cultural understanding, it helps to be able to relate to people on a deeper level. Also researching and having to write massive 30 page papers helped prepare me, so now researching comes easily. 

Why did you decide to strike out on your own? 

I started a freelance side gig in college. I always side hustled. I honestly was kind of bored. I didn't know many people at first. There wasn’t really one moment, I never really knew. The stars just kind of aligned for me...

I really liked my job and I’m glad that I worked those jobs. I don’t think that I would be as successful had I not had that experience. I could take time off, take my ideal clients, instead of taking projects out of desperation. I was able to register my business, pay for training. 

What inspired you to start coaching? 

I had this Youtube channel (tips on advice for business owners), and I started to get really in depth questions. So I started a course... and then really out of that course people were asking for it. I was really hesitant to do that, the imposter syndrome struck. I was hesitant to wear that label, seeing the results really helped.

What challenges do you think are unique to women in your field? 

Paygap just like in every industry. I honestly feel like I’ve been able to earn what I’m worth, I’ve definitely had to say no and stand up for myself. If you don’t have that thick skin it’s tough.

I’ve heard disparaging comments about women in this industry… There was a male content creator who was saying “If I was a girl on the internet, I would have no reason to not make a shit ton of money.” Basically saying that people will watch anyone attractive. I want to look presentable but I’m not there to be some sex symbol, I’ve definitely experienced harassment as well. I definitely think there’s a toxic culture surrounding the content community. 

How does Detroit inspire you? What are some things you wish you could change?

The culture of this city has really inspired me. All of the different kinds of people and things to do. There are always things to do. For any creative person it’s a really cool place to be. 

But the city has lost a lot of its culture. It doesn’t feel like what it felt like two years ago. A lot has changed with gentrification. I feel like a lot of people are getting left out. 

What does success mean to you? 

Balance…  I’ve also been really happy when I’ve made little money (and vice versa). As long as I’m able to take care of myself and I am able to do things, but money is not the only thing. 

What are your goals for 2020? 

I’m looking to grow my content production… I feel like I could do so much more and provide so much more value, especially on Youtube. I also want to grow my Youtube business, I also just want to keep doing that. I want to continue to try different things (with coaching).

What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?

Before you publish any blog ask yourself- how is this helping someone? Even if it’s something fun. I’ve kind of used that behind every entertaining, educational, helpful etc. I think that’s what helps guide me. People want a connection, it’s all about connection now.

If you could go back in time and give advice to your younger self, what would it be?

I would honestly say “relax”. I’ve always been kind of a workaholic, a blessing and a curse. It’s definitely helped me be successful, but I definitely fall out of balance. Take a day off, you’ve gotten through all of your hardest days. 

What’s a helpful book or resource? 

Super quick easy read, “Steal Like an Artist.” It’s relevant not just to artists, but also for business owners, and creatives. 

He totally inspired my course creation. My favorite podcast is “Online marketing made easy” with Amy Porterfield. 

Who’s been the most inspiring female influence in your life? 

My mom, just because she is the definition of hard work and being a badass woman. She raised my sister and me by herself; she’s also incredibly supportive. That’s where I got my work ethic. Also, seeing how I’ve inspired her has been great and seeing her now want to do her own thing as well. 

For someone just starting out in marketing, which resource of yours would you recommend they start with? 

If you’re looking to start a business head over to latashajames.com/course. 

For anyone else, who just wants some inspiration, check out my youtube channel.